


Christmas With the Family

by emptynight11



Series: Bigfoot & Mothman [2]
Category: Addams Family - All Media Types, Bigfoot (Folklore), Mothman (Folklore)
Genre: "Yes Danger", Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Christmas Special, M/M, New chapter of old fic, Paranormal, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-19
Updated: 2020-12-19
Packaged: 2021-03-11 00:34:01
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,636
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28166310
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emptynight11/pseuds/emptynight11
Summary: Christmas time has come and Bigfoot has brought the Mothman to a most unexpected house for the holidays.
Relationships: Bigfoot/Mothman
Series: Bigfoot & Mothman [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2063391
Kudos: 3
Collections: Fanfic Roulette 2020 Round 8: Holiday Theme!





	Christmas With the Family

Things have returned to normal for me and my darling Bigfoot since my misadventure in the woods and I’ve never felt better. It’s a sunny day by our house and I’m picking up our mail. There’s the usual bills, spam, and even a few pamphlets advertising expeditions to find Bigfoot and the Mothman. I roll my eyes at those. Fools don’t know the half of it. At the bottom of the pile there’s something new that catches my eye. The envelope is black and addressed to Brendan. I turn it around I see an honest to goodness wax seal. Huh.

As I bring in the mail I ask, “Brendan, you expecting any mail? There’s a fancy letter for you. It’s got a wax seal and everything. Looks like a family crest with something Latin written underneath ‘Sic Gorgiamus Allos Subjectatos Nunc.’” It’s been a while since I’ve practiced, but I think I can figure that one out.

“I didn’t know you could speak latin.”

“Yeah I went to Catholic school”

“Michael, you’re always full of surprises. Pass it here, I was hoping to get this letter soon.”

“Sure thing” I say as I pass Brendan the letter, “What is it? It’s certainly an unusual envelope.”

“Remember how I’ve been saying that I’d like to introduce you to my family?” he asks

“Yeah”

“Well, I think this is an invitation to the bi-annual holiday family reunion! Let’s open it and see.”

Brendan carefully opens the letter and unveils a piece of parchment carefully folded inside and opens it to read.

“Brendan Baxter ‘Bigfoot’ Barkley,”

“Barkley?”

“What, you think my birth certificate says Bigfoot? It’d make the paperwork on this house hell. Anyways, ‘You are cordially invited to the biannual Addams Family Reunion and Holiday Ball’”

“Oh how nice! I must admit I’m a little nervous. You talk them up a great deal. Do you think they’ll like me?”

“They’ll love you, Michael.” he beams at me. He looks so handsome when he does that. I could just melt.

As I’m smiling at Brendan’s gaze, a realization hits me and my smile slowly melts off my face. “Wait a minute. If I remember my Latin that motto is ‘We Gladly Feast on Those Who Would Subdue Us?’ What kind of a motto is that?”

“Oh you know. Old Latin mottos, my family’s a little kooky.” he shrugs.

“If you say so.” I respond; unconvinced but determined to make a good impression with his family.

A week later we arrive at the address listed in the invitation. It’s a tall Gothic mansion with an imposing iron fence around the property. Before us is a menacing gate barring our access to the grounds. It was a dark and stormy night.

Brendan excitedly knocks on the gate and waits five seconds. As if on cue the heavy gate mysteriously swings open, as if opened by a ghost. Brendan leads me through the winding trail to the door and knocks once more.

While we wait, Brendan excitedly talks about his family. “Just wait. Gomez and Morticia are just the sweetest and Grandmama’s cooking is to die for.”

As he continues on I steel myself for what I worry I’ve gotten myself into. A few moments pass and the door opens, revealing a pale gray faced Frankensteinian monster who grunts and gestures for us to enter.

“Thank you, Lurch.” says Brendan as he leads me into the house.

Once inside, a man wearing a pinstripe suit and a thin mustache greets us excitedly. “Cousin Bigfoot! I’m so glad you could make it! Please, let Lurch take your coats and let me show you around.”

Lurch takes our coats and we finish walking into a house bumbling with activity. In front of me by the central stairway I see a young boy carefully placing a tray of milk and cookies on a small table. To my left a young girl is putting together the wooden frame for a small stable with a pile of small human and animal figures. As I step in I smell a delicious aroma wafting in from the kitchen. A tall, bare, elm tree stands in the corner of the foyer next to the fireplace. Decorating its skeletal branches is a large, bald man with wide, sunken eyes. I see him somehow light the bulbs by placing them in his mouth then gently placing them on the tree. A disembodied hand grabs another bulb and scurries up the tree to hand it to him. That’s a little weird, but who am I to judge? I’m the Mothman after all.

Brendan breaks the silence. “Gomez! I’d like to introduce you to Michael Moss, my boyfriend.”

“Hello, Gomez. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” I volunteer and extend a hand.

Gomez enthusiastically clasps and shakes my hand. “Ah yes! The Mothman! We’ve heard so much about you! I’m so pleased that you’ve come to visit us during this special time of year for the Addams family. Please! Let me introduce the family.”

Gomez points to the tree, “Thing is helping Uncle Fester decorate our tree. It’s freshly cut from the garden as of this morning.”

The disembodied hand stands up on a branch and waves at me. After carefully placing a gargoyle atop the tree, Fester pokes his head out and smiles a wide smile shockingly full of lit light bulbs.

“Here’s my son, Pugsley.” Gomez says as he leads us to the boy I saw with the milk and cookies. “Pugsley, I’d like to introduce you to the Mothman. What’s this you’re up to?”

Pugsley turns to his father and answers “I’m setting a trap for Santa Claus. Grandmama helped me bake razors into the cookies and I added poison from Mother’s garden into the milk”

“Oh how splendid! Won’t he be surprised.” Gomez gleefully responds.

“Poisoning Santa?” I ask in a whisper to Brendan.

“He’s magic, he’ll be fine” Brendan shrugs.

Gomez leads us away and to the girl. “Wednesday dear, let us introduce you to the Mothman”

“Hello, sir, would you care to help me build the Nativity?” she asks.

“Sure. How can I help?”

“Great idea, Michael! While you get to know the kids, I have some catching up to do with Gomez.” Brendan steps away and begins to converse with Gomez. “So, how’s my favorite Cousin Itt doing? Will he be arriving soon?”

“He was actually supposed to be here already, but he got held up at the airport. He’s in a real hairy situation…” I hear Gomez say as their conversation trails off.

“How can I help, Wednesday?” I ask.

“Could you pass me the lamb?”

I pass her the smallest, cutest, ceramic lamb I find on the pile. She takes it and gently places its head into a wooden frame by the stable. She pulls a string and a sharp blade falls and decapitates the lamb! What the heck‽ I stumble back in shock and notice for the first time that all the figures already in the stable have their heads severed as well.

“Shepherd” she nonchalantly requests.

Too shocked to say anything, I pass her one of the shepherds and she promptly decapitates him as well.

“Joseph” I pass him over and she decapitates him as well.

One by one she requested more figures and one by one she dispatched them.

Finally there is but one figure left. “Baby Jesus” she requests. Numb to the horror about to unfold, I pass her the small figurine. But much to my surprise, she simply places him in the crib untouched.

“You’re not going to guillotine Jesus too?” I ask.

“Oh goodness no. The severing of Christ is the reason for the season so he must see all his friends and family go before him.”

Wednesday steps back and beholds our horrific creation and nods in approval.

“Thank you for your assistance, Mr. Mothman. You’ve been an excellent executioner’s aid. Now if you’ll excuse me, Thing appears to be struggling with his letter to Santa Claus.” I follow her gaze to see the disembodied hand with ink smudged all over its fingers trying to write, but each stroke of his pen slides the paper out from beneath it. Poor thing. Wednesday leaves me and hurries to his side.

This is one weird family. What have I gotten myself into?

“Hello there, you must be the Mothman. I’m Morticia Addams. I hear you make our dear cousin Bigfoot quite happy.” In my idle musings I did not notice the entrance of a tall, pale woman carrying a bouquet of enormous blood red and sickly white poinsettias.

“Oh hello, Morticia, it’s a pleasure to meet you. What lovely flowers.”

“Thank you. I raise them for their poison.” As she says this she places them in a vase and cuts off the heads leaving the stems oozing poisonous sap.

“Oh… how nice.” I respond.

“By the way, have you met Grandmama yet? She’s in the kitchen and was dying to meet you when I walked by.”

“I haven’t, I’ll make sure to stop by. Thank you. It’s been interesting meeting you.”

Whoah, this family gives me the creeps. I head off into the kitchen to meet yet another Addams, and hopefully find Brendan. In the kitchen I see a truly ancient woman deftly chopping vegetables and mysterious ingredients and pouring them into a bubbling cauldron over an open flame. If I had to describe her in one word it would be witchy. Stirring the cauldron is that disembodied hand again. It must’ve come in earlier while I was talking to Morticia.

The old woman hears me come in and turns to greet me “Oh hello, dearie. You must be Bigfoot’s dear Mothman. I’m Grandmama Eudora Addams. Would you care for some leg nog?” She asks offering me a mug of steaming liquid.

“Um… What’s in it?” I ask

“Leg broth soup as a base and whatever we have in the house on top!”

“Oh… No thank you.” I say as an eye floats up to the surface next to what can only be a big toe.

Geeze, this whole family is deranged. I can’t believe that my charming Brendan comes from this family. Suddenly I hear Gomez’s booming voice greet me. “Ah, Mothman! I see you’ve met my lovely mother. Would you care for a candy pain?”

“What’s a candy pain?” I ask

“Hi-Yah!” Gomez shouts and throws a pointed peppermint throwing star straight at my face. I duck and look up to see the candy pain embedded in the wall behind me.

Ok. This has gotten out of hand. What has Brendan gotten me into with this wild family?

“Brendan, dear. Could you please follow me. I need to ask you something.” I ask pointedly as I grab his hand.

I drag Brendan through the foyer and into the first closet I see.

“What is up with your family? What have you gotten me into?” I demand

“What do you mean?”

“Your family! They’re mysterious and spooky! Morbid, creepy, and downright dangerous. I don’t feel safe here.”

“Michael, they’ve been nothing but hospitable while we’re here. There’s no danger.”

“YES! DANGER! I don’t much fancy having candy shurikens thrown at my face. That leg nog does not seem safe to drink. I found a freaking toe in mine. And in twenty years those little freaks are going to end up on a true crime podcast. The wife collects exotic poisons. If we aren’t guillotined or stabbed by a peppermint dagger we’ll probably be poisoned in our beds by sunrise.”

“Michael” Brendan stops and takes a breath. “Sweetheart, you really are in no danger here. First of all, if Gomez wanted to hit you he would have. He’s an excellent shot. Second of all, the kids have a healthy curiosity for all things in life, and in this family, we encourage them to take part in all of our holiday traditions. Third of all aren’t we also creepy and kooky? They call us cryptids. We walk around the woods making cameos in people’s vacation footage and frightening cub scout troops on their first camping trip.”

“Oh come on! That was one time!”

“And, Michael, they’re my family. And besides, aren’t all the most festive plants poisonous?” Brendan says as he gently touches my face with his large, gentle hands.

“Poinsettias, holly, mistletoe” he adds with a coy smile. I lean in and kiss my handsome Bigfoot.

“But how’s this, if after tonight you’re still not feeling it, we’ll go home. I love you and I want you to feel safe and heard.”

I stand there in silence as I consider my darling Bigfoot’s words. “Oh alright. You make a compelling point. Besides, what other sort of a family would suit such a brave, talented, sasquatch like my boyfriend.”

“You know the Sasquatch is my sister.” Brendan says as a blush spreads across his fuzzy face. I lean in to give him another kiss. The door swings open. We tumble to the floor in a frustrated heap. Damn, door must not have been closed all the way. I look up and see Gomez standing there grinning at us.

“You know there’s a lovely guest room waiting for you two upstairs. The iron maiden is freshly polished and everything.”

Oh dear. I chuckle nervously and look to Brendan who responds. “That’s very kind, maybe later.”

“Very well.” He extends a hand to each of us to help us to our feet. I dust off my wings as Brendan smooths out his ruffled fur. Just as we finish combobulating ourselves, Morticia’s voice called out from the next room. “Everyone! Please gather in the parlor to sing in celebration of the holidays and our guests.”

“Michael, follow me! I think you’ll enjoy this.” Brendan says as he grabs my hand and leads me to the parlor.

Once there I see Lurch sitting at an organ. The hand rests on top next to the sheet music. He offers me a friendly wave before picking up a conductor’s baton. It’s oddly charming. The rest of the family slowly gathers around us. Wednesday, Pugsley, Fester, Grandmama all gather around and complete the group with Gomez, Morticia, Brendan, Lurch, Thing, and I.

Seeing everyone gathered, Morticia solemnly states “Before we begin I’d like to wish you all a Joyeux Noël.”

“Oh Tish, you spoke French.” Gomez exclaims as he runs up to her and kisses her hand, “I love it when you speak French.”

“Wow, that’s really sweet.” I whisper to Brendan.

“Told you! They’re a very loving family.”

“Oh Gomez, later. We have some caroling to do now.” Morticia says. “Lurch, Thing. Please take it away”

As Thing waves his baton, Lurch begins to play an oddly solemn tune. I turn to Gomez and ask “What carol is this? I don’t recognize it.”

“Oh if you don’t know it, I’m sure you’ll pick it up. It’s a classic.”

> Laetissimus 
> 
> accipiat 
> 
> iam mundus Dominum 

Wait a minute… Is this Joy to the World … in a minor key … in Latin? This family really is something huh. They’re sweet in their own way. I think I could get used to this.

I turn and whisper to Brendan, “Thank you for bringing me to meet your family and convincing me to give them another chance. They really are lovely.”

Brendan pulls me in for a kiss and then responds “Just wait for the rest of the family to show up for the ball in a week. I can’t wait to introduce you to them.”

I smile nervously and look at my Bigfoot’s handsome face. He smiles in reply with that big goofy smile I can never say no to. If the rest of the family is anything like the family I met today, this will be a Christmas I’ll never forget.


End file.
